by: Lila Zamansky and Tanya Chang
Media Production Editor and Sports Editor

Communication has greatly evolved over time: from pigeons, to letters, to text, and finally, to FaceTime. For elders, FaceTime is a platform used to create wholesome connections with their loved ones. However, for teens today, it is the most enraging combination of chaos and overstimulation. Now, imagine facetiming with one angsty teen and multiply it by four when the whole friend group is cramming for a test that is worth 95% of their grade. Various unique personalities each play a special role in making the group facetime as insane as possible and we are here to list a few.

To start we have the lagger. This person’s WiFi connection is so appalling that they might as well send letters via owl. They always join the call with the most crystal clear resolution, but NEVER judge a book by its cover because before you know it, they will combust into two pixels. As soon as you try to screenshot the most blackmail-worthy picture, they get disconnected. Then you enter an endless loop of doom and despair while both people try to call each other at the same time, and the phone becomes so insanely overstimulated that you just decide to sit in silence. A pristine example of the lagger is our friend and fellow El Gatan Tori Schubert. Schubert has the wifi connection as unstable as one’s cortisol and always drops off the call, as she commented, “If you think it’s frustrating for you, imagine how I feel.”

Next, there is always that one friend who is juggling 14 tasks while on call. They could be riding a tricycle, skiing on a double black diamond, or eating a seafood boil, while simultaneously writing their application to Stanford University. The cherry on top is that they never choose to mute. It is almost like they don’t even have that button on their phone. During our group FaceTime call, one of their comrades chose the noisiest environment possible. I mean she was outside while her dad was actively mowing the lawn. When you tell them to mute, all you hear is, “WHAT?” five times before you decide to give up. By now, two and a half hours have passed, and guess what? You have zero work done: how surprising.

Finally, we have that one person who is constantly getting yelled at. Their mom will urgently bust through the door and start screaming bloody murder for them to clean their room when there is a sock paired with a speck of dust on the carpet. The screaming usually unaffects them, but for the others on the call, it is extremely awkward as you just casually witness your home boy getting ripped to shreds like it’s part of your daily entertainment.

We do not know if this is a universal experience, but we do know that group FaceTimes may be the most enraging yet engaging experiences one can witness. Whether you have been a victim of one of these characters or have been one yourself, we want you to know you’re not alone and you will and CAN get through this.