Adam’s Chocolate Addiction

By: Kloe Adams

Humor Editor

Is it Time for a Magic Mushroom Chocolate Bar? - Healing Properties

I am addicted to chocolate. Not just the gourmet German chocolate that my mom asks (forces) my relatives to send to her, but the chocolate found in the sticky jars in the doctor’s offices. It seems a bit redundant, since that chocolate is most likely going to send you back to the doctor’s office, but I guess that’s just a money making strategy. 

My sister likes to tell me that my diet “scares” her, but she is the one who drinks disgusting looking green powder as well as the whites of eggs. Yes, not a whole egg, just the white. She doesn’t even get the white from the egg fresh, she gets it from a box. Boxed egg whites. How she doesn’t get sick after eating all of that is a mystery I have yet to figure out. 

My diet, however, is far from the scariness that is boxed eggs. In the morning, I eat one double chocolate muffin from Trader Joes. For lunch, I enjoy a gourmet cheese quesadilla. Approximately one hour later I indulge in a mid-afternoon snack, which consists of another Trader Joe’s chocolate muffin. At dinner I enjoy whatever delicious meal my mom has cooking in the kitchen or whatever our faithful Door-Dash driver delivers. And lastly, dessert. This is where it gets a tad complicated. The options for dessert include:

  1. 5-6 mini chocolate muffins from Nob Hill 
  2. 1 faithful double chocolate muffin from Trader Joes 
  3. 2-3 Toll House chocolate chip cookies 
  4. Chocolate covered raisins (one of our healthier options)
  5. Chocolate cake with chocolate filling from Icing on the Cake (leftovers from birthdays)
  6. Chocolate ice cream (any brand works because chocolate ice cream is just that good)

Of course, all this food wouldn’t settle well without something refreshing to wash it all down. The staple drink, of course, is chocolate milk. I prefer Horizon, but if I’m desperate, Nesquik will suffice. 

This leads to my Starbucks order, which is chocolate milk. Recently, I was ridiculed for my so-called “immature” and “childish” pick, so I evolved to something a little more sophisticated. Some of these options include the Mocha Cookie Crumble Frappuccino with extra pumps of mocha sauce and the Chocolate Cookie Crumble Creme Frappuccino (basically chocolate milk but extra). Lastly, I indulge in the hidden gem of all chocolate drinks, the chocolate milkshake from McDonalds with extra whipped cream. All of these drinks can be topped with hot fudge, chocolate syrup, chocolate sprinkles, chocolate flakes, and any chocolatey food crumbled up. 

Coming from a chocolate pro, I advise to have your milk of choice on hand incase of a chocolate overload. Overall, I still see no problem with my diet and will continue ordering chocolate milk. 

Categories: Humor

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