HUMOR: Gomez Explains What your School Supplies Say about You

By Maya Gomez

Sports Editor

I went into the first day of my junior year at Los Gatos looking forward to enjoying the simpleness of subtle, plain school supplies. I mean, it’s 2021 people, I really thought we stopped looking to Pinterest for “edgy back-to-school supplies for teenz” back in 2016. Clearly,  I was astoundingly wrong. Like, I could not have been more off, because when I walked onto campus, the first thing I saw was a bright pink zebra print backpack staring me in the face. I am not joking. The kinds of supplies you bring to school speaks volumes about you as an individual. However, I have a solution: Target’s 30-day return policy. But, in all seriousness (kind of), I am here to answer the crucial life question: what do your belongings say about you as a person? Do they need to be put back onto the shelf while we still have time? Probably.

Standard #2 pencils:

You’re okay I guess. You stay to yourself for the most part, until we have to fill out a scantron, and you suddenly become a skilled salesperson. “I’ll sell this hardy #2 to you, but It’ll cost ya.” Newsflash buddy, I will not be trading my lunch money for an unsharpened pencil I can probably get for free from the teacher. Nice try though.

Mechanical pencils:

Let’s be real guys, we have all somehow wound up with one of those bougie mechanical pencils sometime during our academic career thus far. But what separates the mortals and the almighty is who actually did the purchasing of the pencil. I have never felt more loved than when that one nice girl in my freshman year Biology class let me borrow one of her fancy pencils, and I will never forget it (shoutout to you Kaelie.) However, there are other times when you are offered one of the same mechanical pencils, and you can just tell you, it does not feel the same. It is quite clear whether someone bought the pencil with their own hard earned dollars (or most likely their parents, we do live in Los Gatos) and when they found it on the ground of the Ceramics room with a piece of clay and some stranded hair attached to its pink grooves. But seriously, I really do appreciate the pencil Will, even if you stole it from someone’s desk in the 7th grade.

Children’s backpacks- Senior Edition

We can make this short and sweet. You’re cool, you’re funny, and you definitely have suppressed childhood trauma that you pretend doesn’t bother you. 

Children’s backpack- Sophomore and Junior Edition

As a junior myself, you guys need to stop. You’re not cool, you’re not funny, and if I hear one more of you call yourselves an “honorary senior” I will, quite literally, fling your Cinderella backpack off of the LEAD building balcony. 


You are a freshman. And that’s not an insult, I admire your preparation, I really do. You spent 20 minutes making a pro-con list figuring out which color correlates to which class (English is red, Math is Green, Science is Blue, I will die on this hill). It’s worked out well so far, but let me warn you, there’s an 80% chance that you’re going to walk into your English final with your Geometry folder.

Scented markers

You are elite, there’s a 99.99% chance that you are better than everyone else, and I probably have a crush on you.ex

Categories: Humor, Web Exclusive

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