by Cara Davidson

Public Relations Manager

Red: You are automatically sus. You probably name yourself “U Idiot I” and rage quit when you’re about to get voted out. You have a very sensitive ego and think you are a superior being. You probably dressed up as a Power Ranger last Halloween and refused to stop wearing neon in 2017. There is also a big chance you had a creeper backpack in elementary school (which is soooo cool of course). 

Orange: You’re either very neutral and don’t talk in the chat, or you are a child. If it’s the latter, you don’t know how to play the game at all and definitely wear the leaf hat or the pumpkin. The probability that you say “sowwy” in the chat after you kill someone and follow everyone around is astounding. 

Yellow: You’re either a very nice human, or you’re a freshman who thinks their aesthetic is cottagecore and describes themselves as “a sunny bean.” That’s right. I think you use the word bean. If you main as yellow there’s a small chance you’re bearable, but there’s an even bigger chance you’re named Emily and your favorite candies are Jelly Beans. No in between. 

Lime: You don’t deserve air. 

Green: This is a safe choice. You probably like trees just a little bit too much, ESPECIALLY if you pair it with the red beanie. For the most part you’re pretty cool and down to earth. You radiate hippie uncle energy which can be taken in any way you want to take that. 

Cyan: You call an emergency meeting SIX seconds into the game because “orange was following you.” You are the definition of sensitive and were probably one of the kids that cried when someone stuck their tongue out at you. When people suspect you in the chat you get SO outraged. You’re fun to play with for the sole reason that it’s funny watching you get offended. You remind me of my seven year old cousin that asked for a “Diary of a Wimpy Kid” Rubik’s Cube last year. 

Navy Blue: You’re most likely a high school boy with toxic masculinity. Or you drink boba. No in between. 

Pink: You are a sixth grade girl, and I mean that in the meanest way possible. You probably have a black, white, or gray Jansport, and you refuse to wear any style of pants other than cropped Ivivva capris. You definitely use language like “I AM LITERALLY PHOTOSYNTHESIZING,” and overuse the phrase “it’s the… for me.” Bonus points if you pair it with the pink flower. 

Purple: You’re a Gemini and you are ALWAYS the imposter. You probably type “Kanye West” in the chat and think you are the funniest person alive. You try too hard to have a love story in the chat.

Black: You’re cool. You’re probably a pretty neutral person and remain unbothered by everything. I have never gotten angry at you, but that’s probably because I usually choose black. 

White: You are a white boy who thinks using slurs is funny. You probably wear the backwards baseball cap and have an offensive username. You definitely use vocabulary like “on Jah” and “brazy.” You’re late for football, Chad. 

Brown: You’re probably a furry. No hate. But you’re probably a furry.