Langner and Wilde’s Roman Empires

By: Isabella Langner and Jane Wilde

Public Relations Manager and Culture Editor

Many hear “Roman Empire ” and think of ancient Rome, war, etcetera. Recently, however, this iconic era has adopted a new definition. The phenomenon began on TikTok when girls asked their boyfriends, brothers, and fathers how often they thought about the Roman Empire. Fascinatingly enough, the majority of the men who were questioned said they think about the Roman Empire at least once a week. This immediately sparked an uproar across the internet, leaving many confused, laughing, and excited to participate. The phrase “my Roman Empire” is now used to describe an event, idea, or time period you think about a little too frequently. 

 For some, a Roman Empire could be as small as that time you tripped in front of your classmates or called your teacher “mom” in elementary school. However, many tend to remember things from their childhood that may or may not have shaped the person they are today. For instance, our first Roman empire is the beloved childhood YouTube channels we watched, such as Seven Super Girls and the Haschak sisters. One could argue a YouTube channel is incapable of shaping someone’s personality, though we strongly, strongly, disagree. Providing us with unlimited nostalgia and serotonin, these channels are a big part of who we are. As we were in elementary school at the time of their relevance, we looked up to the girls featured on the channel and wished we could be like them. The Haschak sisters would make music videos which we would watch over and over. Memorizing dance routines they performed was a constant activity.

Another event that crosses our minds is the 2019 “VSCO” era, a term named after a photography app used to describe basic girls of the year 2019. It truly was a simpler time. Messy buns, puka shells, hydro flasks, you just had to be there. As once proud VSCO girls we can undoubtedly say that the lifestyle was next level. On a typical morning, we’d wake up and sip from our hydro flask decoratively dressed in “Save the Turtles” stickers and go pick out our essential Brandy Melville outfit. Then, occasionally, when we acquired our Starbucks drink for the day, we posted what we liked to think was an artsy photo of it on Instagram. As ex-VSCO girls, we are guilty of cringe-worthy behaviors, but we’d be lying if we said we didn’t enjoy every second of it.

A natural disaster in the shower. What could be more terrifying than that? There is nothing that gets our lips quivering like a natural disaster in the shower. If an earthquake occurs, your reaction time will be much slower. You have to turn off the water and get dressed, taking approximately five minutes if we had to guess. By this time, the roof could have already caved in. If you want to risk the embarrassment and exposure of simply wearing a towel, you have a greater chance of surviving. In the event of a fire, the shower is already spraying hot water, so if the room heats up it would probably be harder to notice. Again, you waste time getting dressed. This is truly a terrifying circumstance that occupies much time in our minds. 

Categories: Humor

Leave a Reply