Candy Corn

By: Katie Nelson

Media Production Editor

Candy corn: one of the most iconic symbols of October. The legendary orange, yellow, and white triangle of goodness. At least, this is how I see the candy, though unfortunately many disagree. To my dismay, some would say that candy corn are not triangles of goodness. In fact, more people in America hate candy corn than like it! Well, I’m here to say that if you don’t like candy corn, your taste buds are incorrect. I’m sorry. At the very least, if you still can’t get your taste buds to change, you should keep your frightening opinions about candy corn to yourself. 

Apparently, based on polls last year, 34 percent of people hate candy corn, 22 percent love it, and 44 percent are indifferent. What?! Guys, candy corn needs more respect than that. The fact that people do not like this incredible treat is a true tragedy. 

The appalling realization that a lot of people don’t like candy corn hit me almost exactly one year ago when I was at an annual water polo tournament in Sacramento. We drove up early in the small white school vans with broken AC, and we were relieved when our coach stopped halfway to let us get food and stretch at a shopping center. My teammates and I did a speed run through the Walmart there and I was thrilled to find a giant, 2.5 pound bag of candy corn in the candy aisle. When we got back to the van, I announced my glorious find. To my dismay, I was met with the response “I don’t like candy corn” by almost every single one of my teammates. What?! I had just spent $15 dollars on this giant bag of candy corn and I now had to drag it around for the whole rest of the weekend. It was a traumatic experience, to say the least. 

Here’s my take: Figure out a way to like candy corn or lie to me about liking it, because hating it is just not an acceptable option. When you say you hate candy corn, you are telling me that you don’t like the nostalgic Halloween vibes — a true crime. Fine, you don’t like the taste. It doesn’t matter. You should still be eating it if you want to encapsulate the authentic fall vibe. 

That’s not all though; candy corn is such an exciting candy to eat! You can eat it all at once or in three different sections, my personal preference. When I eat them, I love trying to see how accurately I can bite off each little section. When I was little, I’d bite off the little white tip, put it in my mouth, then try to trick my parents that my tooth had fallen out.

All I’m saying is candy corn at least deserves a little more credit. Everyone loves candy canes in winter time, and we need to have that attitude toward candy corn, too! If you don’t like it, suck it up, buttercup, and consider a sacrifice to maintain the fall and Halloween spirit. 

Sources: Cincinnati Enquirer 

Categories: Humor

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