Gouldrup Details Her Riveting Wingstop Experience

By: Sarah Gouldrup

Humor Editor

I am a victim of TikTok food videos. I don’t know if they can tell how susceptible I am to minute-long reels of people eating terrible fast food, and THAT is why the same ones keep popping up on my For You page, but it is definitely some sort of algorithm thing. Every night before I go to bed, I decide to leisurely scroll through TikTok in order to help myself fall asleep, but the only videos that pop up for me to view are ones about Wingstop. Needless to say, it has become a bit of an obsession.

What is Wingstop, you may ask? World renowned for its large variety of flavors and 2.5-star Yelp review, Wingstop is a small joint located off Bascom Avenue that offers wings, fries, and the occasional small corn. After seeing numerous videos about the establishment, I decided I needed to try it because if I didn’t consume one of their tasty wings, I would probably die. Thus, I embarked on a journey to the land of wings with my trusty companion Jackie Enns. Little did I know, there was something big in store for me. 

Arriving on the scene, Enns perfectly parked her enormous, beautiful Acura MDX. Then, we walked into Wingstop, eager for a salty spicy treat! As we walked up to the register, I noticed discarded wings and baskets littering the tables. A broken soda machine whirred in the background. There was a strange, unidentifiable stench of something like oil and must. Behind the counter, there was a fridge stocked with  gallons of Tropicana lemonade. Enns ordered flawlessly based on our deliberations, her voice full of confidence and gusto. 

With our order placed, we embarked on a 20-minute-long journey of waiting for our order to be called. All the people who came in after us were weird and scary, including a UPS guy and a stinky couple. The tables still littered with bacteria-covered items, we decided to stand while we waited. I wish I could describe the feeling of standing inside that Wingstop — it was exactly like seeing a grimy six year old wipe their boogers onto their hand and then having that same six year old touching your face. When they finally called our order number, we grabbed the wings and got out as fast as we could. 

Now, the part you have all been waiting for… were the wings actually worth it?? Lowkey, yes. When I bit into my first mango habanero wing with a healthy drizzle of ranch on top, it was like snacking on a small piece of heaven. I’m not even religious — that is just how good they are. Together, Enns and I devoured the two box combos we ordered featuring flavors like lemon pepper and garlic parmesan. The fries were mid, though; I’ll be honest. 

Wingstop, your interior is lacking. But wow, you can really make some wings. I’ll be back, I promise, but in the meantime, I’m sure you will continue to hack my TikTok algorithm and overwhelm me with tempting, ASMR-synonymous videos.

Categories: Humor

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