By: Annabelle Pan and Fuyu Banno

Graphics Editors

Dear tall people (you know who you are),

Don’t you ever get tired of making fun of people shorter than you? Do you fulfill your life purpose by ridiculing the vertically challenged? Today, as two people of the below average height community, let’s reverse the roles. We will be listing the many disadvantages of being tall and why being short is actually a lot better. We’re definitely not in denial.

Bending down: You can reach the top shelf, but what about the bottom shelf? You have to bend all the way down to reach the floor; don’t you wish you were shorter? You’re walking across campus and notice your shoelaces are untied. You have to crouch down to tie them, but those long legs of yours make it so hard. Maybe that’s why tall people have more knee and back problems.

Thinner air: The air gets thinner the higher you go, which means the air that tall people breathe has less oxygen. See, even science and facts prove that being short is better.

Less leg space: You sit down for a ten-hour flight but find you can’t fit those long legs of yours into the space in front of your airplane seat. Having shorter legs would definitely be useful. You’re getting ready for English class, but you can’t straighten your legs all the way without sticking your feet under the desk in front of you. Oh, don’t you wish you had shorter legs so you could sit comfortably?

Watch your head: Low ceilings, doorways, and hanging objects are all potential hazards for a tall person. You have to duck or slouch to avoid hitting your head, but that’s so inconvenient. Life would be so much easier if you were shorter. 

Harder to hide: Spot someone you don’t want to say hi to? You try to sneak past them during a passing period, but that height of yours still makes you stick out like a sore thumb. Need to find a hiding spot for hide-and-seek, but the best spots are too small for you? Being 5’2 would be very useful.

Group photos: You’re taking a group photo, and you want to be the center of attention in a group photo but too bad, because then you cover the faces of the shorter people. Time to move to the back, buddy.

Looking in the mirror: Yikes, does that mirror cut off the top of your head? You’re so tall that your whole body does not fit into the view of the mirror, and you can’t see how your outfit looks. That sounds awfully inconvenient.

What’s the weather like? Those couple of inches you’re so proud of means the rain hits you first. Short people don’t need to check the weather app; we can just ask you what the weather is like up there. “Tell me when it starts to rain, okay?”

After considering the many disadvantages of being tall, maybe you all will reconsider the next time you feel the temptation to bully your short friend because being short is actually a lot better.

Sincerely, all the short people in the world.