Fugit Determines Best Study Snacks

By: Owen Fugit

Editorial Editor

Pepperidge Farms Goldfish | Pepperidge Farms Goldfish Variet… | Flickr

Hello students! It is I, Owen Fugit, here to determine the best snack for studying. Are you a student? Do you eat? Then this guide is for you! In this in-depth look at the wide world of snacks, I will pinpoint what makes a good snack, and what makes a good snack for studying. So come with me as I reveal the winner of the coveted El Gato World’s Best Snack for Studying and Enjoying Of 2023-2024 (EGWBSFSAE2324).

When I began my search for the winner of the EGWBSFSAE2324, I laid out some initial criteria that the snack contenders had to meet. The snack could not be messy or greasy, had to be cheap and easily available, and it had to be tasty. Finally, the snack could not upset the snacker’s stomach, so I had to rule out very spicy snack items. The ideal snack has a neutral flavor and you can eat for hours on end while you diligently work on English essays. 

The hunt was on for the one snack to rule them all. Something so perfect it could only be found at Target, which also offers same-day shipping. After many long hours spent wracking my brain for every possible snack idea, I created a list of the five contenders for the EGWBSFSAE2324 award. The five snacks were trail mix, almonds, mini pretzels, gummies, and Goldfish. Finally, with the list of contenders complete, the battle could begin. 

I tested all the snacks when they arrived, and using the highly sophisticated Snackability Scale (patent pending), I scored each snack out of ten. The Snackablility Scale (patent pending) takes many different factors into account, such as taste, quality, and some other stuff, too. The Goldfish and the gummies tied at seven out of ten on the Snackability Scale (patent pending) because they both were very basic. The Goldfish were messy and the gummies were the most unhealthy option on the list, making them less of a contender for snacking while studying. The pretzels came in with an 8/10 because of their versatility. Mini-pretzels can be used in many different snacks, so for the art-inclined student, mini-pretzels may be the way to go. With an 8.5/10 the honey-roasted almonds came very close to first, losing the spot only because they were a little bit too messy. And in first place: trail mix with a score of 9/10. The trail mix was flavorful, pretty cheap, and not messy or greasy at all, making it the perfect study snack.  I also include an honorable mention, which is gum. Gum is an essential item for anyone working at a desk, and finding some good gum is very important.

So there we have it, folks! The new official winner of the EGWBSFSAE2324 is Target trail mix. In second place, we have almonds, and in third, the multifaceted mini-pretzels. 

Categories: Humor

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