Hathaway Talks High School Love Languages

By: Dana Hathaway

Editorial Editor

Valentine’s Day. Flowers! Chocolate! Love! However, we’re in high school, and most of us don’t have the funds for exorbitant bouquets of flowers. Instead of romance, high schoolers have their own form of adoration. This February 14, I’m going to be single. Therefore, I find myself qualified to judge the five love languages: high school edition.

The first love language, arguably the foundation of any successful teenage relationship, is the yellow Snapchat heart. A symbol of dedication, losing this small emoji is listed amongst the “Top ten things most likely to make stressed high schoolers cry.” As an honorable mention, the Snapchat streak reinforces this bond and commitment.

The second way Bay Area teenagers express romance is through the “Want to go to Donkey Hill?” text. Any sort of lookout spot, really. To many, this message is sought after. After all, who doesn’t want to sit in a musty car that, more often or not, reeks of BO and is strewn with workout gear?

Third is PDA. Not my (or anyone’s) favorite. Don’t get me wrong, holding hands can be cute. However, do not stick your tongue down each other’s mouths at 8:30 AM when all I’m trying to do is get to my AP Lang class. Despite the glares and stares, some couples continue to prioritize swapping as much spit as possible at the price of the general public’s sanity. @thosereallytouchyfreshman: I don’t appreciate you. But it is your love language, one that I really hope you grow out of.

Instagram: feared by boys, adored by middle-aged moms. A post on Instagram is —  to some teens — the epitome of love and adoration. Love is one thing. Public love is quite another and can level up a relationship to heights previously unseen. It would be ridiculous to curate this list without mentioning a public Instagram post with your partner as one of the most common high school love languages.

Lastly — and most importantly — we have partnering up for senior assassin. Those brave enough to take this risk make their relationship rock solid. Not only do these couples assume that they will be together in a month, but they also take on the risk that their partner will tolerate their competitive side. Competition, specifically during senior assassin, brings out the worst in those hardcore goggle-wearers. If you’re serious about someone, you will partner up for senior assassin as the ultimate show of love.

Categories: Humor

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