Bagora Details Small Candy Hazards

By: Esha Bagora

Public Relations Manager

If you had asked me before the unplanned three-day “power outage vacation” what my favorite candy was, I’d have told you it was M&M’s. They have the perfect shell-to-chocolate ratio, phenomenal personalities (looking at you Green), and are great for war! Reese’s Pieces would’ve been a close second. M&M’s are virtually indistinguishable from Reese’s Pieces. The fact that one has peanut butter and the other doesn’t is their biggest difference and makes for a very delicious, dangerous, and precarious situation. 

After waking up at 5:00 AM to the district canceling school (again) and then falling back to sleep for another five hours, I decided to enjoy the second of the soon-to-be three days off. I had an extraordinary inclination to mix together the deadly combination of Reese’s Pieces and M&M’s and started watching Netflix. Thankfully, none of the fallen trees in my neighborhood had taken any power lines down with them. 

The atmospheric river poured down around me. A mudslide or two probably happened. My laundry room flooded. I laughed at Rupert Grint in Sick Note and enjoyed the M&M’s and Reese’s Pieces. I was living the tagline of Pringles: Once you pop, the fun don’t stop! And then I popped in one too many. Mid-chuckle, one oblate spheroid slipped down the wrong tube in my throat. 

Missing arguably the funniest part of the show, I flailed around coughing and choking, and all I could think was: “Is an M&M really about to kill me?” As soon as my neurons fired that thought out, I realized I didn’t know if I was choking on an M&M or Reeses Piece. Remember my lightbulb moment from earlier, when I made my genius snack? It backfired hard. 

As I clawed at my throat, my eyes dripping with the worst kind of tears, I couldn’t come to terms with the idea that I didn’t even know what was putting me through the worst pain of 2023 (so far). Once I croaked the blue M&M out, I was emotionally scarred. I can’t even begin to verbalize how I felt. 

You know when you finish experiencing your near-death experience and then have to take a moment to reconsider everything that’s led you to this point before continuing on with your regularly scheduled program? In that post-event thought process, I came to the solution that I’m never going to eat a globule shaped candy again. M&M’s, Reese’s Pieces, Skittles, Mentos — ANYTHING that looks like a choking hazard is never coming near me again.

Categories: Humor

Leave a Reply