Kaufman Breaks Down Holiday Movies

By: Georgia Kaufman

Opinion Editor

Hello Los Gatans. It is I, Georgia Kaufman: self-proclaimed queen of the holidays and certified by none other than my splendid co-staffer Bridie Beamish due to my immaculate choice of halloween costumes. Ho Ho Ho! It seems it is time for the breakdown of some of my favorite holiday entertainment pieces and the appropriate times to watch them. Enjoy the following.


The Santa Clause 1: My favorite movie of all time. All year round. You have no excuse not to watch this GODSEND of a film every night before you go to sleep. That’s what I do! Put this bad baby on when anxious about your class leaving you “on delivered” for the past four minutes or when you need to forget about that thing you said to your hallway crush this morning. Awkward!


Holidate: IMO? Not that good. I had to include it because it is the most anti-Hallmark, Hallmark movie ever created. This movie is great if your mom asks you to put on the Hallmark channel, and you are unwilling to spend one more minute watching Candace Cameron Bure come back to her small hometown and rekindle her relationship with her first love. 


Merry Christmas Charlie Brown!: Greatest comfort movie of all time, in my opinion. Put this sucker on if you want to feel something. 


Spirited: This movie is on repeat in the Kaufman household and has been since its release on Nov. 18. Not even joking. The first day my mom watched it she watched it back-to-back SIX TIMES! Yes! This movie-musical roughly based on the story of Ebenezer Scrooge in A Christmas Carol is perfect if you want to make people hate your movie taste! Be sure to watch it in a group of people who know Kristin Chenoweth as the wife in the movie RV if you’re ever feeling particularly good about yourself and need to bring it down a notch or two.


Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer (claymation): Do not ever put this on. You freak. 


Home Alone: A classic, truly. A child is home alone when an attempted robbery occurs, and he learns to fend for himself whilst two middle-aged men attempt to kidnap him? Comedic genius! Watch this if you’re feeling a little frisky.


The Santa Clause (2 and 3): Just put on the first one. They cut down Bernard’s screen time in these two films. There’s no point in watching if Bernard doesn’t get a feature…


Take these reviews as facts, please. My opinion is in fact, correct, despite what some may say. Take my word for it. Don’t waste your time watching claymation or else Tim Allen will have to bring you a lump of coal, you naughty boy!

Categories: Humor

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