Humor

Hathaway Recaps Traumatic Earthquake Experience

By: Dana Hathaway

Editorial Editor

Tragedy struck the quaint town of Los Gatos on Oct. 25, when the Earth broke under citizens’ feet in the Great Earthquake of 2022. This traumatic event will leave students at Los Gatos High School scarred for ages. In the wake of this calamity, let us break down the horrors caused by the event.

First: not a single person — NOT ONE — got a kiss, an attempt to save their life, or a confession of love when everyone thought the world was ending. This reflects poorly on the standards of our age. The fact that the ground was shaking, yet no spontaneous romance manifested, truly disappointed us. What is the point of a national disaster if not to create drama? The would-be saviors struggled as well. Sophomore and El Gato staff member Brendan Moore recalled,“I felt pressure to be a hero. No man should have to face that.” 

In addition, the quake forced many to question their beliefs. Junior Sophia Cuevas claimed, “I thought this was it. Lord save me….I don’t believe in God by the way.” Her world was shaken in two different ways. Junior Nessa Purdy, a California newbie, also experienced a shift in ideals after her first earthquake, stating, “Due to this experience, I’m now officially a flat earther.” This quake was world-shattering for many, and it’s safe to say that Los Gatos citizens now hold different beliefs or question their knowledge, including an anonymous sophomore who we overheard asking if earthquakes meant a tsunami would wipe out Los Gatos. 

Furthermore, terror reigned in the aftermath. Senior El Gato staff member Michaela Thimot described the event as “kinda, like, pregaming the apocalypse.” We can personally recount seeing at least one freshman crying. It was simply too much to handle for the poor LG student. 

Such an occurrence should remain a rarity. The 5.1 monster has left its forever mark on the LGHS community and, of course, the world. It’s quite realistic to say that the school will never be the same after the Great Quake, although, on the positive side, it did provide incredible publicity for our local soccer team as searches for “San Jose Earthquakes” soared.

Categories: Humor

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