Editor-in-Chief
Quarantine is tough. Sometimes it brings out the best in people, and other times it brings out the worst (ie: Costco hand sanitizer aisle). But at least we have celebrities singing covers of Imagine by John Lennon to take all of our pain and fear away. Below are some of the things I have done now that I am self-isolated in quarantine.
My Calculus homework: Believe it or not, I, along with other senior members of my Calc class, have finally started doing our homework for the first time this year. Now whether that’s because our teacher has required the homework for the first time during this unit or because we really feel invested in and captivated by vectors and parametric equations is up to you to decide. I mean, it’s better than staring at the wall, right?
Washed my hands. A lot: Are your hands always pale, cold, and peeling? Does it feel like no matter how much lotion you slather on the back of your hands you’re still gonna wake up with dead skin cells flaking off of them the next day? Congratulations! You’re either 80 years old, or you’re me after washing my hands 746 times a day during Corona Season. Either way, I’d be worried right about now.
Genuinely longed to go to work: Since I haven’t been getting out of the house much, I look forward to my two days of work each week. It’s really the only time I interact with people, and I’m still making money, so that’s pretty cool. I miss cleaning the freezer until my fingers go numb. I miss smelling like the fryer when I get home and my dog sneezing when I get too close to him. Never before have I felt so desperate to serve people who have yelled at me for making a mistake on their order in the past. I miss you, Karen.
Made friends with the spider in my room: While it’s fun to FaceTime friends and send them memes, I’d rather have some genuine face-to-face conversations and time to hang out with friends in-person. While my friends and I are all stuck in quarantine, watching celebrities talk online about how much self-isolation sucks in their multi-million dollar mansions, I need someone else to keep me company. And that’s exactly where Reginold, or Reggie, the house spider that hangs out on my ceiling, comes in. He’s been keeping me company while I’m cooped up in my room all day mourning the loss of my senior year. He never interrupts me, he watches YouTube with me, he never tries to steal my food and instead eats up any insects that make the mistake of flying into my room. And if I’m being completely honest here, Reggie has more of a personality than half of the people I know.
Stocked up on tons of toilet paper: Yeah, I’m just kidding, I didn’t do this. I have more than half a brain cell and I’m not that greedy.
Categories: Humor