SPECIAL REPORT: Hayley Strahs retires from doomscrolling and pursues new career as Editor-in-Chief of El Gato News. While Instagram Reels surely miss her three hours of daily traffic, Strahs has found other ways to quell her hunger for entertainment. Whether she’s nerding out over The New York Times, stalking the LG Grads page, or terrorizing Rasputin Records, Strahs rarely experiences the phenomenon colloquially known as “boredom.” The pace of her speech puts your average D1 yapper to shame; passersby should avoid mentioning Severance, Cobra Kai, or The Wildcat Review in her vicinity. Despite her frequent acts of tomfoolery, this avid writer by day and amateur guitarist by night is more than ready to take on her final year of high school and beat senioritis to a pulp.