Duvall Lists Things that Would Send a Victorian Child into a Coma

By: Emily Duvall

Opinion Editor

Happy February El Gato readers! Recently on TikTok, a trend emerged talking about things in our current world that would send a child from the Victorian era into a coma. To simplify this, essentially this means something in our society today that would blow the Victorian child’s mind that they physically could not function any longer. There are endless things that could do the trick, but I shall list some of my favorite examples.

Bath & Body Works: Even though I am aware this place could send practically anyone into a coma just from their shimmery body sprays and exuberant scents, this would get the job done for Victorian era children, without fail. Particularly, the scent names would confuse them to a new level, such as “A Thousand Wishes,” or “Gingham Love.” They would cry trying to think of how wishes and gingham could have a specific scent. The number of products and smells would truly baffle these children, and I don’t think they could take it, to be honest.

The Bachelor Franchise: Right from the get go, they would faint at the sight of a TV. If today’s people can’t comprehend how TV works, then how could these kids even begin to fathom this shiny screen? Nevertheless, the second they laid eyes on the Bachelor mansion, they would be so confused as to what was even going on. If they even heard a snippet of the drama in the house, they would lose their minds. I just know it. They’d be a little lost about why 30 women are fighting for one man or vice versa, but they simply could not handle the immense anticipation, the fear, and the excitement, of a monumental rose ceremony.

The Musical Hamilton: The rapping alone from historical figures would bring on the coma immediately. I would pay anything to see the look on their faces during Non-Stop. Actually, nevermind all of that, the idea of any musical itself being about history. They could not grasp the fact that people are acting, singing, and dancing all at once about the American Revolution that they haven’t even experienced. This would truly blow their minds in many ways.

Anything from Taco Bell: A bite of a taco from Taco Bell with a Dorito shell would make them fall straight to the ground. The fact that they wouldn’t know the ingredients and the amount of chemicals that probably lay within one bite would be indigestible, literally and figuratively. Throw in a baja blast to seal the deal. They would panic yet ascend at the same time.

Now that you have some inspiration of what I myself believe would do the trick in shocking these children of the olden days, I pose the question to you: what do you think would send a Victorian era child into a coma?

Categories: Humor

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