by: Lila Zamansky
Media Production Editor

While Lila and Tanya both live in a complex world together, they share two very different experiences: an almond mom household and an ingredient household. Almond moms will constantly enforce a borderline psychotic diet, filled with half an almond and some chopped cucumbers disguised as a delicious dessert. On the other hand, in an ingredient household, you will be faced with cabinets so bare that even the rats can’t find anything. You may think from the previous article that their friendship thrives on ragebating; however, the core foundation lies in their shared trauma of, let’s just say, an interesting cuisine.

Picture this. You come home to your almond mom from the most diabolical day at school, and all you want is a filling snack. You open your pantry and examine your options: homemade protein granola, cheese sticks, carrots, and chia seed bars. Honestly, you just accept defeat and take the slightly salted dried edamame beans. Wait! Mom says there is a sweet treat for you in the fridge. You practically skip with joy, just to find a five-day-old yogurt that has – this one might knock your socks off – four grams of sugar.

Now, there is one distinct characteristic that sets the ingredient household apart from others. To explain, let’s describe a day in the life of a victim of an ingredient mom. You get home from practice, you’re as hungry as pre-2022 Nikocado Avacado, and you ask your mom if you can have a snack. “Make something, hun! I just bought tofu flour. It will be delicious!” she excitedly replies. You ignore her and walk towards the pantry, hoping something will have magically appeared. It’s your lucky day, the glorious and legendary chocolate chips are lying before your very eyes. For normal kids, this may seem like an overreaction, but for an ingredient household, this is like Christmas morning.

These moms do have a few similarities. For one, when you ask to buy something at the grocery store or go out to dinner, they always have the same dull response that sends children into instant rage: “We have food at home.” Almond and ingredient moms are always making a new dish, which may or may not be edible. Whether they find it on Instagram reels, NYT top ten healthiest meals, or an Amish blog, the experimentations (we mean recipes) are either the most delightful meals your taste buds have ever experienced or taste like minerals directly extracted from the earth.

This may seem like the hardest thing one will experience, or at least it feels that way to Lila and Tanya, but don’t worry, you get used to your house being a secondary source to a farm.

And don’t get us wrong; almond moms and ingredient households have their place in society, but it’s nowhere near us.