by: Nelson Kramer
Editor in Chief

Senior year of high school has felt like the only time when the majority of my classes have prepared me for the real world. From taking social justice, a deeply informative course on the role of race in society, to AP Environmental Science, where I learn another reason why humans are narcissistic shortsighted creatures every week, I feel more educated about the world than ever. However, no amount of courage could have prepared me for the thing I was about to learn.  Everyone knows about school air. It’s the weather phenomenon that no meteorologist can sort out. School air refers to the toxic, vile, and frankly backstabbing fumes that ruin all your looks throughout the school day. If you know school air, you know the feeling of waking up and leaving the house primp and primed, looking like a baddie, ready for the day, and coming home to your mom not recognizing the beast that walks through the front door. I had no idea that this mysterious phenomenon, which I thought was used only by the aesthetically challenged as an excuse, is real.

Even though I always feel like an intellectual when I leave the classroom, I can’t help but notice I never look the part. How can I fill my brain with all this knowledge, stuff that might help me change the world, and yet every time I look into that rusty school bathroom mirror after the first period, I immediately jump back? My jaw always hits the floor when I see the state of my hair, my greasy undereye bags, and the zits that are literally playing peek-a-boo on my face.

For all you divas and the dolls who bring copious amounts of setting powder with you to keep your exterior together, now you know whom to point fingers at. I mean, this is straight from the textbook, people, and it’s called Sick Building Syndrome (SBS). Look it up. Better put your KN-95 masks back on, because the aforementioned toxic fumes are real, and they’re making us look gaunt and decrepit.

When it was first discovered, SBS presented as acute health conditions like fatigue, headaches, and throat irritation in people who worked in office buildings. Overuse of air conditioning, poor ventilation, and exposure to other toxic chemicals and pollutants such as volatile organic compounds (VOCs), mold, and bacteria can cause these problems. Did you hear that? Mold and bacteria are making us ugly! How are we going to let a single-celled organism take control of our lives like this?

You know what will mess up your good mood and your perfect hair day? Slamming your head on your desk from the excruciating headache you always have in the first period. SBS deniers will point to the lack of sleep our students are getting or the reliance on sugary energy drinks to start each day. But tell me, why don’t I grapple with these symptoms on the weekends? I can tell you now that my lack of sleep has nothing to do with my putrid looks. Even though I may feel like I get hit by a bus each morning, I am positive that the metaphorical vehicle always misses my face; I look “boots the house down” before the school air ever touches me.

For now, I’m officially signing off from this nightmare and enrolling in homeschool until our administration can sort this issue. You can see me on Instagram, where I’m in the comfort of my home, looking and feeling better than ever!