By Megan Hastings

Public Relations Manager

 It’s official…it’s a boy! Trisha Paytas announced the gender of her third child during the Los Angeles stop of her tour on May 4. While this may go unnoticed by many, to the chronically online keen eyes, this is proof of a growing conspiracy theory involving Paytas and her fanbase. This, of course, is the theory that Paytas’s children seem to coincide with the deaths of prominent figures. In 2022, Paytas announced she was having a girl shortly after Queen Elizabeth died. This time, her new baby boy raised eyebrows, as people pointed their fingers at the recently deceased Pope Francis. As Trisha adds more to the Paytas clan, we can be sure to hear more truths—I mean conspiracies—about who her next child is the reincarnation of. Here are some celebrities and figures that I personally hope can make it into the Paytas household, whether that’s in a few years or decades.

     The woman most famously known for breaking up the Beatles, Yoko Ono, may actually turn out to be God’s greatest gift: Trisha Paytas’s next child. Trisha and Yoko are similar in their controversial and dramatic pasts, so it isn’t hard to imagine her motherly instincts kicking in as she coaches little Yoko through her first kitchen-cry video. 

       While not the first person to come to mind, Frank Gallagher from Shameless would surely bring some good-ol’ family drama to the Paytas household. Frankly, I think his crass attitude would definitely make for some troubled teen years in the family. However, if you think about it, they’re really two sides of the same coin. His raw, raunchy personality and her charismatic, unrestrained humor would make for an interesting family dinner, talking about the questionable things that each of them did in the past.

      Let’s now discuss Freddie Mercury. The only one who could match Trisha’s fierceness in a musical number and a dramatic YouTube vlog is Baby Freddie. Imagine Trisha throwing a yearly karaoke event featuring Bohemian Rhapsody, and her tiny Mercury stealing the spotlight in eyeliner and glitter. However, a few years later, the mommy issues resulting from their rivalry would likely make for a fascinating family therapy session. But there can only be one diva in a household. 

         Lastly, Princess Diana. Imagine baby Di being reborn into the hectic glamour of the Paytas household. One moment, she would be drinking from a tiny Stanley cup, and the next, she would be performing a TikTok vlog with Trisha wearing matching skirts. By eighteen, she’s already side-eyeing Prince George on the For You Page and taking soft-launch selfies at the age of five. Trisha would totally purchase a dazzling small convertible for herself and refer to it as “the people’s Prius.” And to be honest? Iconic!