By: Jane Wilde

Public Relations Editor

There are three perfect things in this world; my bed, the 2022 Elvis biopic, and an unreasonably high-priced sweet treat. My sweet treat addiction was birthed in the early years of my adolescence at the largest franchise in the sweet treat business, Starbucks. The grand question, “What would you like to order today?” was my greatest opposition. My brain couldn’t tell the difference between that sentence and being chased by a bear. There’s so much to choose from; I mean, I could get a refresher or tea, but then the question arises, “Am I in a fruity mood or a milky mood?” I’ll just get a baked good, or a croissant, perhaps? “Would you like that warmed up?” The barista asks. Great. Another infuriating question. I would typically cave and settle on two different drinks—one milky and one fruity—and a bakery item, all for the slim price of 20 dollars.

When I say I had an addiction, it is not to be taken lightly. I knew the obsession got serious when the baristas started calling me by name before I even put it in for the order. I became a local celebrity. I like to think they were excited to see me each time, but deep down, I know they were dreading the ridiculously long and detailed order ahead. I even started to surprise myself, one-upping my order each time. Changing the amount of espresso and adding an annoying amount of caramel syrup became routine. “I can quit whenever I want,” I said, clutching my second Trenta Iced Matcha Latte of the day. Don’t even get me started on Trentas. I could literally feed a village with the amount of Trenta Pink Drinks I consumed as a middle schooler. For those of you who are unfamiliar with Starbucks’ unusual cup sizing (so basically anyone who’s sane), a Trenta is essentially America in a nutshell. Too large for its own good, expensive, and a gateway to diabetes.

Why Starbucks? There are so many places to get an overpriced sweet treat nowadays, so why did I choose that chain? For one, it was the closest place within walking distance to Fisher Middle School, which made it increasingly more dangerous for me. It was the place to be after school. If you came to lunch with Starbucks after leaving school for an appointment, suddenly everyone swarmed you groveling for a sip of your pink drink. The urge to skip a big unit test and study at Starbucks consumed my mind. Although I am currently a Starbucks addict in recovery, I still have my occasional Starbucks drink. Who knows, maybe one day I will resort back to my old ways. So the next time you see me with two Starbucks drinks in hand and a cake pop in my mouth, just know, I’m where I’m supposed to be.