by Sean Clark and Liat Rubin
Culture Editor and Editor-in-Chief
As two very devoted Beyoncé fans, we would like to pay tribute to some of the Queen’s greatest hits by offering some lyric translations for those who aren’t well-versed in the scriptures of Queen B.
Tennis shoes, don’t even need to buy a new dress,
If you ain’t there ain’t nobody else to impress,
The way that you know what I thought I knew,
It’s the beat my heart skips when I’m with you,
But I still don’t understand,
Just how your love can do what no one else can.
The Queen’s man has been blessed enough to have her attention, and B is kind of surprised with herself. She is unaccustomed to the feelings of loving someone, especially someone who probably isn’t even close to the angel-goddess status she has reached. She reflects on how her heart beats so quickly when she is with her man. Also, Beyoncé loves this guy so much that she doesn’t care about impressing anyone else (not that she ever cared), she’ll just throw on some tennis shoes and sweats and effortlessly look smokin’ hot.
Drop the bass mane the bass get lower
Radio say speed it up I just go slower
High like treble, pumping on them mids
Ya man ain’t never seen a booty like this
And why you think ya keep my name rolling off your tongue
‘Cause when you he want to smash I’ll just write another one
I sneezed on the beat and the beat got sicker
Yoncé all on his mouth like liquor
As Queen, Beyoncé does whatever she wants. The radio wants her to speed it up? Do they know who they are talking too? Beyoncé will go at whatever freakin’ tempo she wants to, so don’t even try. After about twenty years of being the hottest, most-talented female pop artist, it is safe to say that B has mastered the creation of chart-topping hits, which is just another reason you shouldn’t question her. Believe it or not, all she has to do is sneeze on a song, and it automatically goes double platinum. Soon enough, Yoncé’s music starts to have the blissful and reckless effect of alcohol on listeners; some even get pulled over for drunk driving and have to explain to the police that they were just listening to B-Day.
Remember those walls I built
Well, baby they’re tumbling down
And they didn’t even put up a fight
They didn’t even make up a sound
I found a way to let you in
But I never really had a doubt
Standing in the light of your halo
I got my angel now
Beyoncé is a strong, smart woman, but even she can fall victim to the clutches of love. In order to protect herself over the years, she built up walls made up of her finest weaves to shield her from the hurt. But now, someone has managed to fight his way to her heart. B let her walls fall down and is basking in the light of her angel’s halo.
So since I’m not your everything (irreplaceable)
How about I’ll be nothing (nothing)? Nothing at all to you (nothing, nothing)
Baby I won’t shed a tear for you (I won’t shed a tear for you)
I won’t lose a wink of sleep (a wink of sleep)
‘Cause the truth of the matter is (truth is)
Replacing you is so easy
Oh, you took the Queen for granted? That’s too bad, because Beyoncé just called you an uber (and not even the fancy, black SUV kind), and all you have is a cardboard box full of things she bought for you. Spoiler alert, she’s onto Jay-Z now, so “don’t you ever for a second get to thinkin you’re irreplaceable.”
To other men that respect what I do
Please accept my shine
Boy I know you love it
How we’re smart enough to make these millions
Strong enough to bear the children
Then get back to business
Beyoncé is shining no matter what you think of her, so accept it, unless you want Beyoncé, Blue Ivy, and a legion of female backup dancers to show up on your doorstep armed with baseball bats. Her feminine ability to effortlessly raise a child and then immediately return to world domination makes her superior to you.
Categories: Humor