Sports Editor, Graphics Editor
When you wake up in the morning, have you ever thought about your clothes when dropping off your kid? Well, if you are a woman running errands in the morning, make sure you are wearing the proper attire before you leave the house. In the state of California, it is illegal for women to drive while wearing housecoats. Not a trench coat, nor a lab coat. Specifically, a housecoat, a humble garment invented for the sole purpose of answering the door.
This obscure law is not alone. Across the nation, hundreds of pieces of legislation much like this one exist. In Arizona, it is illegal to have a sleeping donkey in your bathtub. In Alaska, you cannot wake a sleeping bear to take a photograph. New Mexico forbids women from appearing unshaven in public.
The list still goes on. What if someone really wanted to put a coin in a stranger’s earlobe while on a tropical trip to Hawaii? The sight of a round, glistening coin in the nook of a random guy’s ear can sometimes really be a satisfying sight to see. Indulging in a totally normal personal hobby should not be recognized as a crime, yet it is in the Aloha State.
Yet arguably one of the most obscure laws in the U.S. would have to be the legality of parking 20 feet from a stop sign. Even if someone parked at 19 feet away, that’s plenty of space to make a successful turn. If someone can’t, should they even have their license? Or what if someone drops the tip of their Twix wrapper on the ground? They should probably not be paying off 25,000 in debt. Is it too much to ask for the person who reported them to tap them on the shoulder and say five words, “Please pick your wrapper up”?
Speaking of federal laws, giving “unusual” gestures and noises to horses is banned in all U.S. national parks. So that one horse girl at school who is convinced she can talk to horses through hand gestures and her secret horse language is probably committing a crime that comes with some *probably* serious repercussions.
Another law that is as obscure as parking near the stop sign is the legality of cosplaying as a mailman. Even if it’s in your wildest dreams to dress up as the heroes of our society, you might be behind bars for the next six months. Dressing up as a firefighter instead might be your safest bet.
Perhaps the next time you commit a crime, think for a moment: Is what I did really just as bad as cleaning my car in San Francisco with used underwear? Perhaps it is time for the legal system to focus less on useless and obscure laws and create some real change.
Categories: Humor