By: Siyona Singhal

Humor Editor

As much as I want to deny it, I cannot anymore. I am officially too old to go trick-or-treating. No longer can I knock on someone’s door, flash a smile, and receive a king-sized chocolate bar. Now all I get are dirty looks and judgment. If you’re experiencing the same thing, fear not. I have come up with some activities for Halloween night that don’t include walking door-to-door asking for candy, only to have your neighbor give you the stink-eye. 

First up, scaring trick-or-treaters. If you can’t have fun trick-or-treating, no one can. Try putting on a costume with a spine-chilling mask and standing in the corner disguised like an inanimate object. When you catch trick-or-treaters taking more than one piece of candy from the bowl, teach them a lesson. Jump from your corner screaming and just watch how they run. Now, this may seem cruel, but someone has to keep Gen Alpha in check. 

You may not be able to acquire candy the traditional way, but who needs tradition? Grab your younger siblings and get to negotiating. One chore for three packs of Skittles. 15 extra minutes of TV time for two Kit Kats. Once you acquire a base amount of candy from them, move on to your friends, or even trick-or-treaters whose bags are looking pretty full. You’ll learn valuable economic skills, like supply, demand, and the true value of your friendship when someone refuses to swap a Reese’s. 

You can also celebrate Diwali. All my fellow Indians understand what I’m talking about, but for those who don’t know, last year Diwali (the Indian festival of lights) fell on the same day as Halloween. It was comical seeing people go from wearing beautiful Indian clothing to dressing as zombies covered in fake blood. If this strange phenomenon occurs again, I’m just going to go as Princess Jasmine to save myself some time.

Next, binge-watching horror movies. Nothing screams Halloween like gripping your popcorn bucket in fear and hiding under a blanket at every noise. As a certified scaredy-cat, Halloween is the only time of the year I force myself to sit down and watch a movie filled with gore, stupid characters, and jump scares around every corner. I just don’t understand the appeal. Why do people enjoy being full of tension, yelling at the idiotic people in the movie, and dealing with insomnia for the next two nights? In my opinion, the best horror movies to watch on Halloween are: The Nightmare Before Christmas, Hocus Pocus, and Casper. 

In the end, Halloween isn’t about candy or scaring young kids. It’s about celebrating a night of mischief and fun. Sure, we might be too old to run around the neighborhood with a pillowcase, but that doesn’t mean we can’t enjoy the chaos of the night. So this October 31st, embrace your inner child, laugh a little too hard at costumes, and don’t be afraid to steal a piece of candy or two from innocent trick-or-treaters.