By: Sam Gruetter

Opinion Editor

I, Sam Gruetter, fancy myself a jack of all trades, a self-employed entrepreneur, and a traveling salesman. In simpler terms, there are very few things I wouldn’t do to make a buck. My recent professional explorations have included walking (dragging) a geriatric dog who probably will not be around much longer, a cat transporter (don’t ask), dog sitter, chemistry tutor, essay editor, babysitter, driver, soccer coach, chicken and rabbit sitter, Depop scammer (allegedly), Domus employee, and house cleaner. While some of these previous occupations have left me bleeding, crying, and trying to lure a lost cat with Taco Bell hot sauce into a litter box I mistook for a crate, others reinforce the charm and simplicity of an odd job.  

Dog walker: This is one of the more charming of my career paths and a personal favorite of mine. If you ever check my location and wonder why I frequent the local retirement home, walking this dog will be the most likely explanation. What Lilikoi lacks in youthfulness, she makes up in a peppy stride and only semi-frequent dry heaving. 

Cat transporter: This job, undeniably, is the most eventful. Namely, the fact that I failed to transport the cat and ended up running around a local neighborhood in Brandy Melville pajama shorts with a packet of expired Taco Bell hot sauce in one hand and a litter box in the other, pleading with some higher power to bring S’mores the cat back to me. After this acutely distressing experience, I refuse to check NextDoor as there will be a post featuring possibly my lowest moment, accompanied by some rant about “kids these days.” 

Depop scammer: Depop is notorious for overpriced vintage clothing, my primary product as a Depop entrepreneur. The only difference between other stores and mine is that people would actually receive the things they purchased from other stores. Shortly after I uploaded my Depop page, I abandoned my dreams of making it big in the vintage clothing realm. Unbeknownst to me, many people had bought the clothes I was selling after I deleted the app, and I was unable to send them these clothes. This gave me the title of a wanted Depop fugitive out on the lam. At the end of the day, I taught them a very important lesson: don’t trust strangers on the internet. 

Driver: Let me preface the job description by saying, unfortunately, this is not a Baby Driver situation. While in another life I am Ansel Elgort whipping it through the streets, in reality, my vehicle is a 2011 Honda Fit previously owned by my grandma. My job consists of driving a twelve-year-old girl to the mall. 

At the end of the day, I am confident that my various excursions put the odd in odd jobs. However, with a full bank account and even fuller heart, I believe these adventures were well worth the obstacles they contained.