Muthukrishnan settles fierce candy debate

by Sonali Muthukrishnan

News Editor

The COVID-19 pandemic has caused worldwide stress, and this distress has directly translated into stress eating. Thanks to quarantine, I am now a self-proclaimed candy connoisseur. With all this extra free time, I have refined my taste buds. Continuing on this serious note, these experiences have brought me to focus on the long-term debate, Smarties v. M&M’s. 

As a kid, I always savored American chocolate, but the older I got, the more I began to appreciate chocolate from Europe. Unlike their sweeter match, Smarties have more than just a sugary taste for the consumer, as they also have a slight floral afternote. This aftertaste enables any eater to go through POUNDS of the sweet treat before they wake up from a sugar-induced blackout, to discover the damage they caused. Smarties make you feel like you just showered after finally finishing a strenuous workout, even though in reality, you have not put your pants on for weeks. Whereas M&M’s are tooth-achingly sweet, which was fine when we were kids; however, now it is hard to eat a mouthful without getting a stomach ache.

Now that we have addressed the taste, let’s move on to the next glaring difference. Smarties come in eight colors: red, orange, yellow, green, blue, mauve, pink, and light brown. On the other hand, M&M’s come in dark brown, orange, red, green, yellow, and blue. I don’t know how you feel, but when I want to be cheered up, I never look for something that is the color dark brown, it just does not fit the cheerful vibe. Smarties are the more refined and cheerful candy available for any stress-eating, all the time. 

To me, the only downside about Smarties is that you can’t customize them the way that you can customize M&M’s, but because we are all forced inside, I don’t think many people are considering customized M&M’s at the moment. So, I’m not sure this is an applicable point. 

Another important consideration is the brand names of these candies. It’s scientifically proven, by known sources (me), that Smarties make their consumer feel smarter, while M&M’s seem to have nothing to offer to you. 

Continuing, Smarties are smaller; therefore, it is a lot easier to trick yourself into not feeling guilty after binge eating them when watching Netflix. On the other hand, M&M’s are robust and more intense, so after eating them, you can feel the weight within your stomach. I’m not making this stuff up, folks, these are just facts. 

Overall, Smarties are superior to M&M’s in every way because they taste better, make you feel intelligent, and lift your mood. Therefore, the weaker M&M’s stand no chance against this superstar candy, especially during quarantine. 

Categories: Humor, Web Exclusive

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