By: Kloe Adams
Editorial Editor
So you want to become a comedian? A jokester? Someone who lights up a room by making everyone laugh? Well, if that is what you want, I can help. My name is Kloe Adams, and I am funny. I know you’re not laughing or even smiling yet, so please just give me a second to warm up.
Physical pain: I can’t tell you why, but humans think people getting hurt is the funniest thing ever. If you ever see a pole, walk into it. See a parked car. Start walking backwards and pretend that you don’t notice it and just like that, a loud bang plus an ouch and you have a laugh. Next, the high-risk, high-reward option. All you need is a feral cat and some trash cans. At first, you see a lonely cat in an alley. Obviously, you walk over to pet them. Consequently, the cat hisses and attacks you. Scared, you run but that cat is latched on. This is where the trash cans come into play. While you’re trying to escape, you run into a band of trash cans, fall in and roll away. Your friends will video the whole thing, laughing a little too hard, and only then, come help you. But, it’s worth it because you’re already becoming a jokester!
Timing: Simple, yet an art that takes time to master. While it seems self-explanatory at first, to master comedic timing, you need to be able to analyze situations from all angles and perform some pretty serious mental math. Here are some basic, yet effective, situations that you can master. The door: The door works best in public places because there is more foot traffic, resulting in more door opening. This also works best in bathrooms because all your friends are in one place. To set everything up, begin by using the bathroom. Trust me from personal experience, you will look weird if you go to the bathroom only to stand in the corner watching. After you use the bathroom and wash your hands (people will talk if you don’t wash your hands), position yourself in the area where a door will open on to. Now, when the next bathroom visiter walks in, they will open the door onto you and your friends will laugh! Bonus point if the bathroom goer is about to pee themselves because they will slam that door hard, erupting in more laughs!
Sound effects: Any abrupt noise coming from anywhere is a comedic weapon. Whether the noise is coming from you or from a noise machine (phones, jukebox, speaker, etc.), you will automatically enhance the conversation. There are a few situations when you wouldn’t want to implement noise effects. For example, you would not want to use a whomp-whomp sound effect when someone mentions a dying relative. Although I would laugh, they would not. Please trust me. As an example, a good situation to use a wrong buzzer would be when someone says, “I am awesome.” It might take some trial and error, but soon enough you’ll be a sound effect machine.
Overall, this guide can seem really intimidating due to the intense training and knowledge you need to obtain, but if I can do it, you can too! I’m excited to see you pranksters around school making all your friends literally roll on the floor laughing.